If I jump back two years to the start of 2018, I was slowly, very slowly, recovering from carer burnout. The worst part was the feeling that I had failed my partner, failed myself, and the gnawing knowledge that I could never go back to caring for Bob at home. I knew that would break me.

It can be difficult to know how to reach out when someone you care about hits hard times. Most people, myself included, would usually call or send a message with condolences and end off with an offer of: If you need anything just let me know... and then step back and wait to see if they need anything.

But that is not the most effective way to offer help.

Here’s what I learnt about offering help after being on the receiving end after Bob’s stroke.